A couple of days ago I was in Tesco when the man who has a little stand and tries to get you to taste the latest foodstuff they are flogging, stopped me and asked me to try a new Lurpak butter. Now, I expect most people know the contempt with which I hold Lurpak, and - yes, let's face it - all who eat it, so you can imagine the disdainful look I shot the poor man, as I firmly informed him that I Do Not Eat Lurpak.
No! he said, this is new, it has *sea salt* in it. He admitted that he didn't like Lurpak either, but that this was really nice. Dubious, I tried some, and had to conceed that it was nicer than I expected. However, I said, I like my sea salt crystals to be lumps, that crunch when you bit them, not finely ground up so you could barely detect it. Know you of such a butter? he asked excitedly (if things had been different he and I could have been good friends, I feel). So I told him about Sainsbury's Extra Special butter with crystals the size of maldon sea salt lumps. At which he rubbed his hands together with glee and informed me that he would cycle over to Sainsburys during his break and get himself some. Ha Tesco, I am taking you down from the inside!
Possibly this incident lead on to my dream last night in which I discovered that a friend I haven't seen for a while had actually been avoiding everyone, and me in particular, because he had turned into butter and he was hiding out in a very cold room. I broke into his house, I really had just meant to comfort him, but everytime I hugged him he melted a little, and it seemed a shame not to lick the melted bits of him off of me. Urm, what happened next was sort of a cross between a weird sex dream and a nightmare. I did wake up rather scared.
No specific memory of the quality of his salt content tho.